How is your practice going?

Sometimes lousy, right? Yet life goes on and so do we.

Photo by Alex Alvarez on Unsplash

There is a moment in almost everyone’s meditation life when they get distracted and stop meditating. They do it for various reasons: despair, boredom, extreme busyness, out-of-control procrastination, or distraction. I could probably make this list longer, but you get the idea. 

Unfortunately, those reasons derail many good habits. Whatever is virtuous in your life usually takes some self-control. I don’t have a lot of trouble maintaining a meditation practice. However . . . .I just took a two month unscheduled break from writing this blog!

Wow! two months, and it both feels wonderful to be writing again, and . . . I feel shame-faced. I don’t know if I let you, my readers, down. I did let myself down. But, I’m not going to wallow in self-loathing (anymore). We sometimes fail in almost every good habit— healthy eating, exercise, staying off the damn social media, or being a good friend. This break is just a little more public than my usual ‘vacation’!

What happened to stop my writing? A lot! I went to Mexico for an intense retreat, and my mother went on hospice. I had to solve a problem with payroll for my mother's caregivers that took a week to solve. The trip to Mexico and my mother’s hospice designation took much emotion and energy, but the payroll thing had me hyperventilating. Really! I watched junk television and read mystery novels because of the payroll thing. I stopped writing but somehow maintained my meditation practice. We are mysteries we don’t always solve.

When I disappoint myself, I start out feeling unhappy and isolated. But once I begin reflecting, I see my connection to others. We are all so human. The little pathways, gates, and nudges we use to keep us going in one desired direction don’t always keep us on the path.

Have you ever noticed that when asked, “what have you been up to lately?” many people say, “I’ve been so busy!”. I have been known to answer that way when I have mostly been on the couch watching junk tv and reading mystery novels. It’s a kind of busyness most people wouldn’t recognize.

I am off the couch now and enjoying writing, even about my lack of perfection. I began this blog as a possible way to start writing a book on Natural Religion. However, it has evolved from writing about the ‘it’ of Natural Religion and more about the feel of it in my life. This first blog after my unintended vacation is an example of feeling my natural religion.

My spiritual practice is meditation, and I do it with a Zen Buddhist sangha. Sometimes I gather with other Zen Buddhists, and we ask each other, “how is your practice going?”. It’s a lovely question because it can go deep. It isn’t just about the details of meditation. Your practice is your life as a Buddhist and usually includes meditation. In these gatherings, we talk about where we fail and where we are living more deeply. These are holy conversations, but zen Buddhists don’t often use that word.

If Natural Religion is a thing – then it should also ask the question, ‘how is your natural religion going?’. That question overlaps with the Buddhist one, “How is your practice going?”. It's not quite the same; for example, the word holy is a more comfortable fit in natural religion.

To answer the question would mean looking at where you are becoming more whole and more human. You might say where you sensed you were healing divides of different kinds; in your psyche or community. Your report might include where the sacred had captured your attention.

It’s a good question. Answering it for myself, in light of my unintended vacation from this blog, I would share this way: I just went through something where I went off my game unexpectedly. The good news is that I realized how important the blog is to me. It kept calling me back. I am glad I didn’t just creep away.

It did take a while to restart. I wanted to see vast open vistas of available free time in my future. I finally realized that was never going to happen, so I just sat down and started writing.

How is your Natural Religion going?