Bad Times

(Myself with Rep. Thuy Tran and assorted other citizens)

So what can an apolitical writer do about this new BAD TIME for the United States? It didn’t come without warning, but we are right in the middle of it—so fast. I just checked my substack feed, and half the writers are screaming pants-on-fire (which I agree, pants are definitely on fire) while the other half is sticking with their themes and posting recipes, exercise tips, and how to meditate. There is minor whiplash going on in the feed: One post, ARGHH!, and the next post, gardening.

I just started writing Training for Old Age. My premise is that we can impact how well we live. Specifically, older people can take more control over their lives and be healthier and happier by making good choices in how they eat, think and feel, spend their time, and connect with others. This is not a political blog.

However, today, I can’t ignore politics. My blog is apolitical, but I am not. After all, we elders are whole people. We live in the world and cannot help but be affected by what is happening right now, two to three weeks into Donald Trump’s new term.

It’s always been true that we have control over our lives—until we don’t. All kinds of things hinder us from living our perfect dream life. We get sick, go bankrupt, or have an accident. Or something terrible happens to someone we love, and then we scramble. In Buddhism, karma is the web of interrelated events and causes surrounding you and limiting your choices. Our karma here in the United States is up in our faces, reminding us we are not in control. 

How do we train for old age in Bad Times? We can still do things to lower the temperature in our lives and feel some sense of control. Here is what I do:

Get Involved. Getting involved is perfect training for old age. Caring for and taking responsibility for the world is part of staying healthy and happy. Last week, I was never happier than when I went to Salem to lobby the Oregon State Legislature (see picture above) for the Pause Act, a climate change bill, and the next day, I joined a few hundred of my new best friends in the courtyard of Oregon Senator Wydon’s office building, encouraging him to fight back against the new administration. Why so happy? I felt some of that agency that’s been leaking away come back to me. I was also doing it with a crew of people. When we were together, they felt like my new best friends.

Become Part of a Community. We are all in this together, but it doesn’t always feel like it. Bad Times can make you feel alone and vulnerable. Humans evolved to gather around a fire, telling stories. Don’t go it alone in Bad Times. Find your people.

My community for this Bad Time is Third Act Oregon (TAO), an organization for older adults working against climate change and for democracy. I am the Volunteer Coordinator for TAO, so when I participate, it diminishes the impact of the Bad Time. I feel part of something larger than myself. ( join Third Act Oregon if you want a piece of this) I have several sources of community—my long-time Unitarian Universalist church, my new Sangha (yes, I have two spiritual homes), my family, and a group of women friends I have known for the last 40 years.

Be careful with your attention and mood. There are two parts to this for me. Part one is I try not to consume large amounts of news and opinion. I started doing this years ago when the World Trade Center was destroyed in New York, another very Bad Time. I was glued to media, and the shock wasn’t going away. At the time, whenever you turned on a television, you would see the Twin Towers crumble to the ground! You could rewatch this tragedy every day or five times a day if you wanted. Finally, I started rationing myself. I read the paper in the morning, did my stuff during the day, then went to sleep at night. The next morning, I read the paper again. That’s it. Encountering the news once a day is a good enough information diet. I’m not perfect about this, but I recommit to it regularly. (and yes, during Trump’s recent shock and awe weeks, I haven’t done as good a job as I would like.)

Part two has to do with mood. You can be sucked into a Bad Time so that it is your only reality. It helps to restrict your media diet, but it isn’t the whole story. One of the spiritual images I hold and try to live from is the Buddha’s choice of the middle way. He was describing a spiritual path between denial and gluttony. He had denied his body of food and almost died of starvation in his quest for a spiritual life. When he revived, he chose another way to seek spiritual truth, which he called the middle way, which involved avoiding extremes. No more starving to death! It’s an image of centering that I embrace whenever I feel my balance shifting.

I use practices that are part of the art of Training for Old Age to rebalance. The things we do to live a longer, healthier life can keep us from sinking too deeply into a Bad Time. I go hiking with my church friends once a week — it gets me out of the house and into nature. It’s harder to be depressed walking in nature or having lunch together with my friends after the hike. I gather my family regularly for dinner. Eating with family and cooking for family reminds me that I belong to more than one reality. Even talking with people at the grocery store helps (see Microaggressions of the Friendly Kind). It’s surprising how good you can feel after laughing with a stranger.

None of these practices change the reality of the Bad Time. I don’t advocate denial or long forgetting, as that wouldn’t be the middle way. I aim to hold myself in a place of wholeness, ready to act. Try it—we can meet each other there.